I have no future

I have no future

Dokumentation about missing help, dark future and more

 

Some of you might think that I am somebody who have everything I need and that it might be easy for me, doing Footpath of Life, because I have a full bank account, rich parents or anything. Some of you think, that for sure companies will support me with each and everything. In this document I will explain to you, that it is far away from any rose colored fantasy you might have. Way more than once I think destiny is not helping me on purpose, just to show:

Mario is right, everything is possible, even if you don´t have anything including no future, as you might feel it.

 

So what I am doing here is no blaming, it just tells how I am supported or better the lack of support and stuff which would make me feel better. But let´s start with a list, showing what happend….

 

  1. .Suffering since I am kid from depressions. But nobody knew about them, including me and I tried to have fun while doing many many parties. This worked out for 40 years and than it started to become worse.

 

  1. 2012 complete breakdown. The entire year I felt very strange. Sometimes I lost orientation while doing the walk with my dog. I couldn´t remember things. I forgot while talking to persons what I wanted to say in the middle of the sentence. Than, when I found out sort of a big betray of my friendship and trust, my brain was working on suicide plans. Day and night for 14 days.

 

  1. One day after that, I stood in the supermarket and all of a sudden I couldn´t feel my hands and legs any more. I didn´t recognized people and I was complete lost and than I start crying, like I never cried before in my entire life – even not the day my beloved biological father died at a car accident, when I was 15 years old.

 

  1. At this day in October 2012 I ended up in a psychological hospital and I asked to put me in the closed section, so I will be observed, day and night. I was afraid to kill myself. Those were the most terrible three weeks in my life. In those three weeks I saw things, I don´t want to see again and I was crying day and night. No joke and I have eaten tons of pills.

 

  1. Than they got me out and I was treated in another section for 4 months. In this time, they found out that I am suffering for heavy depressions and I learned a lot about me. Informations I still use and all those informations make my life so much more easy.

 

  1. So I left hospital and I started to work again and I did some new things, like paragliding and I opend up an organization for homeless people: the Winter-Stricker – which is still working and almost 2000 people supporting it.

 

  1. Two years later I got a “maybe cancer diagnosis” which gave me more or less the rest. 14 members of my family died at cancer. It was always the same. They came to the doctor, it was already to late and three months later they were dead. All forms of cancer, all ages…. So: I am next – that´s what I thought. And than many things went through my head and the question: that´s it? Nothing more? What about my plans, my dreams, anything? Some weeks later it was clear: no cancer. I took a decision: separate from my partner, changes in my job and I had plans, many plans.

 

  1. Than a few weeks later I met my new partner. I was madly in love, like never in my life. He was mentaly a disaster, suffered from depressions too and played sometimes an evil game with me. Don´t get me wrong, he was the love of my late life but many things happened, which made me sick, very sick.

 

  1. At a certain point I was in a real bad situation. My depressions got stronger again, my daily life was not working any more and in my job, I couldn´t concentrate any more and nothing could help me. It was so bad, that at the 28.12.2014 I made an end. I was alone for a minimum of 4 days, enough time to die in peace. It was the 7th sense of my partner who supposed to be on a travel. He rescued my life.

 

  1. The next 16 months were more downs than ups, in my life, in my relation ship, in everything. Even if the both of us finally ended up in a nice and real relationship but his depressions got stronger and he denied any real treatment and he stopped in between several times using his medicines, which made him falling each time deeper into his depressions. At the 27th of march 2016 he killed himself, while I have been in Berlin to see my friends, like I did every year.

 

  1. The next 6 months were just a fight with my will to live. Living or dying – each day the same question, several times I was sitting on my couch and everything was prepared to leave.

 

  1. Than Footpath of Life came into my mind and till this time I am working on it and my life changed into the good. I even stopped my medicines and I feel well. I feel better from day to day. It is good, but now I am fighting for my idea, my vision and I tell you: it seems to be a fight against windmills.

 

  1. Even if first newspapers reported and even if I received so many mails from all over the world, even that are 25 trees ordered in 10 countries, there is just one friend, and this is my former partner, who is helping me active with footpath of life. Besides that – not one – even not close friends are doing anything to help me or to get footpath on his feets. Nobody is sharing it, nobody talks about it, nobody asked ever if he can do something for Footpath of Life. I am a Journalist nothing more but I had to do the entire Website, by my own, the design, the Logo, every text .. everything. Two other friends were helping with a translation. But all the marketing people, all the website designers, all the marketers, translators and and and – so many people who could help without investing a Cent, just a bit of time and friendship are not showing up, never did and still not interested. I am really by my own. Do you have an imagination how much this sucks and how disappointing it is? And how it feels to hear from those people: It is so good what you are doing.......

 

  1. But I made it anyway and by now almost 10 000 people are following me, press people were here, Tv crew was here, I am accepted by the official suicide prevention organisations in Frankfurt, I will give together with the ministry of health a journalistic teaching about writing about suicide in newspapers, which takes place in August. I received about 900 Euros of donations.

 

  1. I hear so often: What a wonderful idea, I will help you, I will support you, I will donate and and and – really most of the time nothing happened. I can only wonder how people can tell I will do this and this, without asked for, and than vanish – why? Do I have to understand this? No, it is like it is. But really: I would never tell somebody I will do this or this if I don´t do it at the end. Never. If I say I help you, I help you and I always kept my word, and I am known for this.

 

  1. I put the last money I had into Footpath of Life, which was not that much. I cannot afford making a marketing campaign, flyers, printed maps, I have to do all online and in a way it won´t cost anything.

 

  1. I don´t have a rich family and they are not supporting what I do – not one of this big family. I don´t have life insurances I could dissolve. I still have to pay some Euros on my credit cards and I received this year 5 teeth implants I must pay next to what my insurances pays, 3000 Euros. Sometimes I don´t have a clue how I will make it until March, but somehow it will work out. There is no fact I can count on – just my faith.

 

  1. I need equipment which cost more than 6000 Euros. I am writing almost every day to companies to support me. I will report while doing Footpath, every week in a video documentation, daily in pictures and text blogs, I will make some videos about every gear I got, some tests and the companies will get their own page on my website. I will be for 15 years on the road ….. I am working sice 25 years as a journalist, since 8 years as a Marketer, I have done TV Dokumentations, I made thousands of reports and I am respnsible and Author of 220 national and international image movies for companies (everybody can check this out) ..... an incredible opportunity for companies to let me test their stuff and let me prove that it is really good – their investment: sometimes less than 150 euros the highest would be for the camera and laptop, 700 Euros or around 1500 Euros. I see one million possibilities for their marketing and could write without thinking complete marketing stoy lines for them. But most of the companies giving a shit. Sorry I have to say it like that. they don´t see the possibilities, they don´t believe in it and worse: They don´t see that this is a project for life and not a suicide project. Facebook, google, Microsoft , Twitter and so on.. connecting people, made a difference .. but not one of them is answering my mails, not one of them interested in the topic suicide prevention, help or showing what is possible.

 

  1. These are the companies so far which are supporting Footpath of Life and I am very very thankfull for this:

 

  • Bestattungen Rolf
  • Boxcamp Offenbach
  • Skyroam
  • Walter Kohl

 

  1. This Companies I asked for support and made them really good sponsoring offers and they do not want to support me (List will be continued). I list that to prove to you, that it´s not like you think it is.

 

  • Dell (asked for a laptop)
  • Microsoft (asked for communication support and a surface)
  • Kieser Training
  • Telekom (asked for mobile communication support)
  • Globetrotter (asked for cloths and equipment)
  • Jack Wolfsin (asked for cloths and equipment)
  • Red Bull ( they only give wings to people who already can fly)
  • Apple (never received an answer)
  • Vaude (never received an answer)
  • Garmin (asked vor a navigation)
  • DJI (asked for a camera)
  • Schoeffel (never replied)
  • Media Saturn (never replied)
  • Outdoors research (never replied)
  • Hennessy hammock (never replied)
  • Factory Berlin (never replied)
  • Nikon (never replied)
  • Benpacker (never replied)
  • Hiking crazy (never replied)
  • TG Bornheim (never replied)
  • Deuter (asked for a rucksack)

Around more the 30 requests are still open but I am afraid I will never receive an answer.

 

21. The reasons for not supporting this project are always the same one:

 

  • We have 1000 requests per month and we cannot support all
  • Sponsoring is a image thing and we cannot sponsoring something which has the roots in a suicide ( of course not told like that, but between the lines)
  • Also between the lines: gay and suicide = no
  • We don´t have money
  • We don´t have any possibility to support you ( honestly – even not in your networks, if you are writing me how great this project is? )
  • Your cause is noble but not fitting to our goals / image and so on.

 

Why I am telling this?

I want you to see that I have anything but no real help, no savings, almost no supports and many people thinks: he is crazy and an idiot. I am sure some of my so called internet friends thinks that too. I would have any reason to give up, especially if I count one and one together and if I watch out what I will lose: My job, earning money, all my insurances, money for my retirement, my so called safe future.

 

I should stay at home and giving up and doing what many people hope I will do: giving up. I should live somehow and simply go on with my life – however I would do this. Almost nobody wants to believe in it, nobody feels and see what I feel and see and nobody trust in me. Do you have an idea how it feels? .... I can tell you, not good, not at all.

 

You see, there is no rose colored and safe future. But I started to give away my belongings and at the end of the year I will sell everything on ebay and of course I will lose money by doing that and many things I must throw away. What will be left are three Caredboard boxes with very private eblongings and papers – that’s it. I have nothing more than what I can carry on my back and some stuff I already bought to see, if it´s really good. I will have nothing more than my faith and my courage and this is enough to prove:

 

Life is worth fighting for – don´t give up, because everything is possible,

even if nobody will help you.

 

If you don´t believe in me and that what I will do is one thing – but watch out for it and damned, believe in yourself and the power you have because this is the only base you can trust and which will bring you forward and out of the darkness. If you don´t believe it watch out what I will do and / or come with me and walk some days, weeks or months – this will give you new perspectives – promised.

 

I know what i means to lose everything, to be on the ground of the mental hell, how it feels if you want to die, how it feels to die and how it feels to lose the partner through suicide. I am not a babblers - I was there, I have done all .... thats why

 

 

CONTACT

Mario Dieringer

Geleitsstr. 66A

63067 Offenbach

Germany

 

Tel: +4917670428613

FOLLOW ME

Above on this site you will find all the social networks I am in. It will be a major help if you connect with me in those networks.

 

I will use them to document my walk around the world. On youtube you will find weekly video documentations. On flicker I will do the daily photo documentary. The best pic of the day you will find on instagram and much more. Where I will write about the adventures is not sure yet.

 

If you don´t have any of those, order my newsletter and you will be informed to.

Please help with your friendship and sharings.

 

Thank you so much.

PROFIL

Who or what am I?

In any case, crazy enough to devote my life to a task that has become much more important to me than my home, my scooter and my garden. It is my life task, because a suicide kills us all in one way or another.